

It’s been said, that what we see as children is critical in setting the stage for how we love and expect to be loved. I reread this paragraph more than once, struck by the message. It was fitting that a book all about love started with the place where we learn how to love. I was surprised by the segue as I typically associate love with grown-up romantic feelings or familial love, steeped in obligation, duty, care, and affection. As a culture, we choose to skip over love.įrom the opening, hooks discussed the murky definitions of love and forces the reader to ask, “What is my definition of love?” After that, she smoothly dives into childhood.

As a woman living in a world determined to tell me that genuine love is hard to come by hooks pushes aside that notion. The work went deeper than that, hooks provided insight on how love and the lack of love shape every aspect of our lives. A wiser version of all the self-help books that already lived on my shelves. It was only after a friend personally testified to the impact of hooks, All About Love that I finally went online and paid full price.įrom the title, I expected introspective work on romantic love and self-love.

I now believe that is a testament to her creating work that readers like to hold onto. As someone who was always digging through the crates at second-hand bookshops, I was surprised I never stumbled across her in the bins. Year after year I vowed I would add some of her work to my cart but somehow reached the ripe old age of twenty-seven and still hadn’t read any. As I got older my collection of what I considered serious Black woman literature was growing but bell hooks remained in my mental TBR pile. I spent a decent amount of time being embarrassed that I hadn’t read bell hooks. In actuality, when we love rightly we know that the healthy, loving response to cruelty and abuse is putting ourselves out of harm’s way.” “All too often women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget. All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks
